short sleeves in the snow

When our city held its holiday celebration at a local park, rumor had it that they'd shipped in or manufactured enough fake snow to create a sledding hill. We stood in line for over an hour to get into the hayride which would transport us to this wonderland, but we discovered that what we'd heard was only a sweet myth. Arriving at the peak of the hill, however, we did discover a small pile of snow which had been brought up from the local ice skating rink and hockey arena -- enough to have a respectable snowball fight, even if we weren't dressed for it. The meager snow provided a fun and memorable night (augmented by the cocoa and cookies they were also serving).

arborial

Our tree is trimmed, and is both imposing and charming. (We are ecumenical in our decorating, though the emphasis is on lovely hand-painted Slavic ornaments and on Rankin-Bass figures -- a full set of Rudolph, Yukon Cornelius, Burl Ives' Santa, and the rest.) Unfortunately, we've failed at documenting it, so a fuller glimpse will have to wait until we get better pictures. Failing that, here is a detail from one of the nativities: a wise man holding seven manger-fowl. (It may be a record.)

bright lights

We started looking through our Christmas boxes in preparation for getting our tree and house decorated this weekend. When we pulled out the lights and started unraveling and checking them, Greta became very interested. Since she's getting strong enough to hold her head up while she's on her stomach, she was able to focus intently on the colors. It was incredibly cute to see her so absorbed.

blessing

Today Todd blessed our sweet baby Margaret. I'm thankful for the balmy November day we had so she could wear the blessing gown that Gwendolyn and I each wore as infants. My mother bought it when I was a baby, and it is such a dainty little thing, with tiny buttons and a slip. I love it and hope it holds up for any future granddaughters who may want to use it.

The blanket she is lying on (a soft flannel with a delicate crocheted trim) was made for the occasion by my mama. I love that she had these heirlooms on her special day.

cousines

Jen's family came down this weekend to spend time with us, which allowed the children several days to play with their cousins. As always, it's a joy to see them cavorting; it's even better now that the temperature has mellowed a bit, so that they can blow through much of their energy on the trampoline and constructing shantytowns in the back yard.

utterances at four

Casper: It's cold-hot -- that means warm. Or it's hot-cold -- that's French for warm.

C: Your favorite place to go out to dinner is Texas Todd-house.

C, describing a Lego set he'd seen at Target: The real giantest Hogwarts Castle of Wizardry and Wizardcraft!

at six weeks

If you compare this shot to those which we took and posted six weeks ago, you'll see that Greta has grown, both in size (she now weighs over eleven pounds) and in patience with having her picture taken.

watchful

I would say that I've never seen such a contemplative baby as Margaret, but I remember feeling the same way about Gwendolyn when she was just a few months old. Greta can be satisfied by simply looking out at the world and the activities of her siblings (but she does tend to get frustrated when we don't position her in a way that allows her to observe).

fashion plate

Gwennie enjoys both bright colors and selecting her outfits for the day, which sometimes leads to highly creative combinations. One of our favorites in recent weeks is this assortment of hues and patterns, a sporty ensemble which suited her project (creating a backyard obstacle course) very well.

G, upset that we had denied some request which was no doubt incredibly reasonable: "You both like me as much as you like mosquitoes!"

Gwendolyn: Will I be a grown-up and have my own house when Margaret is nine?
Mama: Well, kind of. You may be at college and have your own apartment or dorm. Why?
Gwendolyn: Because I want to come over to your house and boss someone around.
Linus: You boss me and Casper around all the time.

boy genius

Casper: Mama, what if we slept in the day and stayed awake in the nighttime? We would be nocturnal! I would love that.

C: Mama, see how good video games are? You ought to try one!

C: Margaret, Margaret, sitting in a tree,
Q, R, S and Y and Z. (That spells kissing!)

bait-thing beauty

Margaret loves baths and showers in all their varieties, which makes our lives easier. We generally take her to bathe with one of us (Mama in the tub or Daddy in the shower), but recently ordered a small inflatable tub for her to use. The children were excited to see it, and were convinced that it was a Greta-sized birth pool.

literally literate

Linus: Thanks for getting me water, Mama. I love you just as much as I love Margaret!

L: Mama, quick! Look at Margaret's hands! She's saying something in sign language!

L: I didn't mean literately!

L: Yesterday, yesterday, in a dish,
how many yesterdays do you wish?

friendly

Before Halloween, we went to our neighborhood greengrocer to buy pumpkins. As I'd mentioned, the children had to forego the usual hay maze because of the Texas drought, but we did find a small petting zoo. My favorite moment was when Gwendolyn called her brother over to one of the pens, saying, "Casper, come look at these friendly goats!"

pumpkin girl

Best of all, she's getting chubby -- which is just what her Mama wants.

treat, of course

We'd arranged to meet up with some friends tonight for another round of fun and candy collection. We ended up at a little carnival and had a lot of fun leaping around in costumes in the bounce house before heading back out for another round of trick-or-treating.

(Chocolate cake, watermelon, swiss cheese, lollipop, and salami)

scary portrait

The children recently enlisted me to help them with another funny picture, this time photoshopping their portrait into a halloween theme. We haven't quite finished -- as is apparent, Linus has become a vampire (mostly) and Gwennie's a ghost (apart from her legs), but Casper's still got to become a mummy and I've got to find a good haunted house as a background. Check this spot for an update.

top three

Here's another spot the children found for a pumpkin portrait. Hopefully, we'll soon have a followup with images of the carved jack o' lanterns, though it may be easier to work on once I don't have a full slate of meetings (or we don't have plans during the evenings to go out gathering treats).

farm patch

After work, we went 'round the corner to the Farm Patch to select this year's pumpkins. Each of the children chose an individual pumpkin to carve, and we got an extra-warty pumpkin for Margaret. While there was no hay maze this year (because of the drought, there's simply not enough hay in Texas for them to have built it), they did make a little petting zoo area in the back, with a few photo-friendly areas. The older children demanded a chance to get pictures holding Greta (making it easy for once).

trunk or treat

Since today was our church Halloween party, we needed to finalize our costumes. Gwendolyn had come up with the plan, and everyone had agreed to participate in the ensemble: Margaret as The Very Hungry Caterpillar (or, as the children have it, the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar -- remember that game?) and the rest of us as The Things She Ate. So we worked hard at making t-shirts with One Apple, Two Pears, Three Plums (etc) on the fronts, and various items of junk food on the back. Even though the onesie is far too large for her, Greta looks very cute in her caterpillar suit. This was a sort of coming-out party for her, as well, as it's pretty well the first time she's gone out in public.

(Pictures of the rest of the kids forthcoming.)

the dangers of metaphor

Mama: If you don't stop ignoring me, children, I'm going to hit the roof!
Gwennie: Oh, cool!
Mama: Gwennie, that means I'm going to explode.
G: No, Mama, please don't explode!

Text from G: "Daddy do you want a warriors t-shert? Becus linus sede he didint want oneeeee no wundr greta is criing wal linus is holding her. gwendolyn.******"

still small

Casper: "Baby sister's using her foot to kick Linus in the face! Pretty good koy-ah-tee!" [In case that last word doesn't make sense, it's an attempt to phonetically render the word "karate."]

Mama: Go check the shoe basket for your shoes.
Casper: I was wearing these orange ones, and then, KABAMM! I was wearing these other fancy ones on the way back.

C: "Mama, I'm still small! Can you believe it? I'm still small!"

Casper, not wanting to do his five morning 'jobs': "How many times do I have to tell you? 560! I only have two morning jobs: get dressed and brush teeth!"

Mr. Attentive

Much as Linus loves Greta, he still has problems with the actual experience of being around a baby. For instance, when he recently got a tiny bit of spit-up on him while holding her, he started to freak out: "Mama, take her so I can change my shirt! Oh, this is killing me!"

mis/conception

Linus: Did baby sister have any clothes on when she was born?
Mama: No. How would they get in there?
Casper: I guess you would have to eat them.

how the boys interact

Casper, to Linus: "You can't boss me around. I have free agency to boss you around!"

Casper, looking at a picture: Look, Linus, it's you and me. Aren't we cute?

Linus: We have enough sweets in this house to last at least until Halloween.
Casper: Don't forget Christmas!

Toothpaste

Greta had a glob of thick spit-up by her mouth. Jennifer pointed it out to Gwendolyn, who nodded knowingly and said, "Toothpaste."

granny and auntie

Margaret's birth story

Dear sweet Margaret: the story of your birth actually begins weeks before you were born and ends 9 days after you were due.

Todd and I had been seeing a wonderful midwife here in town (the same one who helped me through my miscarriage last year) and were planning a homebirth. While I was excited about the birth and had no apprehensions about giving birth at home, I did have underlying fears about my body not going into labor on its own. Since I had only gone into labor spontaneously with Linus, and Casper had to be induced at 42 weeks gestation, I was nervous. Add to that the fact that my midwife was planning to leave on vacation 13 days past my due date (though she wouldn’t leave if I hadn’t given birth), I was feeling a little added pressure.

Since my mom and sister, Tiffany, were planning to come to town on the 18^th (my due date being the 19^th), I decided to have Toni, the midwife, check my cervix when I saw her on the 14^th. I was not effaced and my dilation was, “maybe a one.” Mom and Tiff postponed their trip.

At my appointment the following Wednesday, the 21^st, I was certain that I would have made some progress since I’d had a few fairly intense contractions over the weekend (they always came in pairs and quickly petered out, however). Toni checked me again and declared that my cervix was more centered, but otherwise unchanged.

Tiffany, wanting to be here for the birth, decided to risk it by coming to town on the 22^nd and hoping the baby would arrive during her visit. Though we walked and ate spicy food, I did not go into labor and Tiff returned to Dallas on Sunday the 25th. On Monday the 26^th, a week past my due date, Todd and I drove to Toni’s house (35 minutes away) for another internal exam. No change. We talked options. Toni mentioned that I would have to see the doctor for a non-stress test if I went another week. If the doctor didn’t feel like the uterine environment was safe for the baby at that point, I was facing another hospital induction. Toni suggested that on the upcoming Thursday or Friday I consider trying some castor oil or an herbal tincture concocted to help labor along. We left a little down-hearted.

The very next day, Tuesday the 27^th, my 37^th birthday, I woke about 5.30am with some contractions. They varied in duration, intensity and spacing and I fully expected them to peter out before too long. I’d had a number of false starts with Casper. By 10 am, they hadn’t gone away, but hadn’t grown more consistent either and I decided to call Toni just to give her a heads up. She suggested that I try the castor oil or tincture because if this was early labor, they might help and if it was false labor, they couldn’t hurt. So about 10.30, I took a castor oil and apple juice cocktail. I was serious about wanting labor to start and took 4 tablespoons of castor oil!

My mom had been calling off and on all morning wanting updates so she and my dad could decide when to drive down. Since I was skeptical that this would turn into real labor, and since my contractions were so erratic, I kept telling them to wait. I knew I would need her help after the baby was born and didn’t want her to have to sit around and wait for me to go into labor (as she had done when Linus and Casper were born). I spoke with her about 12 or 12.15 and told her not to come yet – nothing was happening.

At 12.30 I loaded the kids in the van and set off to pick Todd up from work because they were all taking me to lunch for my birthday. As I was driving the 1.5 miles to campus, I was hit with a moderately intense contraction. And then another as we waited for Todd to walk from his office. And another two as we drove to the restaurant. We got to our lunch destination, I opened the driver’s side door and promptly threw up in the parking lot (my apologies to any passengers getting into the white sedan parked next to us). Todd drove us back to campus and we dropped him (and Casper) off so he could shut his office down and bring his car back home.

I got home and realized that it was a really good thing we didn’t make it to lunch, because the castor oil kicked in. So glad I was at home for that part. I spoke with Toni about 2pm and, being optimistic, asked her to cancel her 3.30 appointment that day.

I sat on the birthing ball in the bedroom for quite a while and relaxed through contractions, which were slowly getting more intense. At 3pm, I was getting tired. I kept telling whoever would listen that I wanted to take a nap. I called Toni and asked her to come over. I was certain that I was approaching transition and that my contractions were intense enough to actually be doing something, but I wanted Toni to confirm this. I lay in bed to try to rest a bit while I waited for Toni to arrive. She got to our house and around 4.45pm, checked me, and said that though my cervix was softer, I had only dilated to about 2 or 3cm. I was a little devastated. I just wanted to sleep, but knew that if I kept resting, labor was more likely to stall and I really did want to have a baby that day. I didn’t want to have to go through all that work all over again on another day.

Toni suggested that I get up and walk as much as possible to try to speed things along. It was a hot and humid day, so I walked around and around the living room while Toni left to see another client and get some dinner. Todd and the kids set up the pool in the bedroom and then Todd took the boys over to spend the afternoon and evening with some friends, the Torres.

For over two hours, I walked and sat on the birthing ball and willed my cervix to open. Toni returned at 7pm and declared that I had made some progress – I was now 3, possibly 4cm dilated! I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed at this news. In almost three hours, I had only dilated one centimeter! I had thought the baby would have been born already and I was still hankering for that nap.

I continued to walk and sit on the ball and birthing stool until about 8.45 when Toni checked me again. I was at a 5! Hooray, transition! My mother called and spoke with Gwendolyn, who asked her to come down.

It was about a half hour later that I first got into the birthing pool. It was wonderful. There is a reason it is called the “liquid epidural”. It felt so nice and helped me relax, but the best thing was putting my arms over the side of the tub and floating on my stomach. The baby was posterior most of this pregnancy so being able to be on my stomach, with all the pressure off my back, was pure heaven.

I remember Todd asking me what he should do about the boys. The Torres family had offered to keep them overnight – should we take them up on the offer, or should Todd go get them and bring them home and put them to bed? I realized that at this point in my labor, I needed Todd to help me though each contraction and wouldn’t be able to do without him while he put little people to bed. I’m so thankful for good friends who lovingly took my kids for the night. I’m thankful for the peace of mind that comes with knowing your children are in a safe and happy place. It was such a comfort to know I didn’t have to worry about them.

After spending almost an hour in the water, I did get out of the tub for about 45 minutes, feeling that a change in position might help things along. I went to the bathroom and then spent a long time on the birthing stool, which was a very comfortable position for me to labor in.

Toni checked me about 10.45, and I was finally effaced and at 6cm, but the baby had still not dropped. I got back in the pool for another hour or so. I remember that Toni and her assistant Andrea, worried that I was getting dehydrated, kept telling me to drink more juice and water, to eat some ice chips. I remember a wonderful blend of calming essential oils that Toni rubbed on my shoulders and neck and possibly my face. I remember that it was approaching midnight and I was pleading with the baby to please come on my birthday. Knowing that we would share a middle name, I also wanted to share a birthday with her. I also wanted labor to be over. I was just so tired!

Around 11.45 I got out of the pool to use the bathroom again and Toni suggested rupturing my membranes to try to help things along a bit. I agreed and we found meconium in the fluid. This was a first for us, but the baby was doing fine and continued to have a strong, stable heart rate throughout my labor.

We had planned for Gwendolyn to be at the birth and she had drifted in and out of the bedroom all evening. About 11pm, she went into her room and fell asleep, which ended up being a good thing.

All through early labor and transition, I had been able to stay on top of the contractions. I was calm and stayed relaxed most of the time. When I exhaled, I would moan deeply, which helped me relax (Gwendolyn later admitted to me that she thought this noise was very silly and felt guilty for thinking that I sounded like a cow). When I would start to tense up, Todd (aka the best birthing coach in the world), would remind me to “stay loose” and would help me focus on my breathing. Through the entire four hours of transition, he was there holding my hand and rubbing my back through each and every contraction. With the help of a long-distance coach (hi Emily!), a good book, cds and lots of practice, I used the HypnoBirthing technique this time and found it to be wonderful. It helped make this birth the best birthing experience I’ve had. That said, there did come a point at which I “lost it”.

Close to midnight, I started feeling more pelvic pressure and the urge to bear down (not the urge to “push”). Toni had me get out of the water so she could check my dilation and when she did, she found me 10cm, but with a cervical “lip”. Apparently, the baby had descended as I was dilating and pushed a bit of the cervix back out, so it wasn’t completely out of the way. Perhaps it’s just the way I’m designed, but the exact same thing happened with Linus and Casper.

So Toni had me try one contraction standing up straight with my arms over my head to see if that would help get the lip out of the way. It didn’t, and let me add that it is nearly impossible for me to relax in that position. Before the next contraction, Toni had me quickly move to the bed and recline on some pillows. She was planning to check my dilation and move the lip out of the way during my next contraction (which is exactly what Titi, the midwife who delivered Linus and Casper, had to do during their births).

I was still maneuvering onto the bed when the next contraction hit. So I had an incredibly intense contraction that I didn’t have time to mentally prepare for, while reclined on my back (which was so uncomfortable with a posterior baby), with someone’s hand inside me pushing my cervix over my baby’s head. This is the contraction when I lost it. I screamed in pain. I kept shouting variations of, “I can’t do this!” Todd later told me I was “horse-eyed,” with my eyes wide and rolling back in my head; I joked that the reason was that I was frantically looking around my bedroom wondering where the hell the anesthesiologist was.

So after that one was over, I remember saying, “I can’t do another transaction… wait, what are they called? Contraction! I can’t do another contraction like that.” So for the next contraction (which was manageable as I leaned forward and rested on Todd), I sat on the birth stool. Though the stool had been comfortable for me during this labor, I really only had eyes for the birth pool. So as soon as that contraction ended, I was back in the water where I felt I could relax and manage my pain better. Liquid epidural! Heaven!

The very first contraction back in the water, I felt the urge to bear down. So I did, and during the contraction, I reached down and felt a sliver of the baby’s head inside me. I excitedly told everyone that I could feel her head and I asked for Gwendolyn. Andrea went to wake Gwennie, who was there before the next contraction hit.

During the next contraction (the second in the water), I bore down and felt the “ring of fire”. After the contraction was over, I said, “Toni! I think the baby’s crowning!” and Toni calmly responded, “Actually, the widest part of her head is out, one more contraction and you will have delivered her head.” Sure enough, the next contraction and her head was out and the contraction after that (the fourth in the water), Margaret Anise was born. It was about 12.24am; she had held out for a birthday of her own!

She was completely covered in very thick vernix and absolutely beautiful!. None of my other babies had much vernix and Toni later said she had never seen a post-term baby with so much. Margaret was struggling a bit with transition. It was difficult to get her sufficiently warm in the water and she had swallowed some meconium which Toni was quickly siphoning from her tummy. The decision was made to cut her cord before it stopped pulsing (which Todd did, a first for him) and move Margaret to the bed so she could get wrapped up warmly and get some oxygen. She responded well to this decision. Her Apgar scores were 7 and 9 and she was absolutely perfect in every way!

While I was still in the water with Margaret, my mother appeared in the room! Apparently, she and my dad arrived and were waiting at the front door, knocking and rapping on windows as I was giving birth. During the pushing stage, Gwendolyn had gone to the door but been called back to the bedroom so she wouldn’t miss the birth. Andrea, in sterile gloves, had also run to the door and told them she would open up in a second. As soon as Margaret was born, Andrea let them in.

I felt wonderful after the birth. So full of energy (adrenaline) and full of the purest of joys. I felt this way after Linus’s birth, but after Gwendolyn’s and Casper’s birth, I mostly remember feeling depleted and exhausted and sick.

I waited in the birth pool while everyone took care of Greta when Gwendolyn came up to me and gave me a kiss and told me I was amazing. Very sweet. Shortly afterward, she went back to bed.

After Margaret was warmed and breathing well, someone helped me to the bed where I delivered the placenta and cuddled and nursed Margaret for the first time (a champion nurser, just like her siblings). While the midwives took her weight and other measurements, I took a shower (at first I wondered why Toni told me I had to shower before she left – the hospital never made me shower in the first hour after giving birth – and then I saw the birth pool). I then got stitched up (there was some tearing along my scar tissue because she came through the birth canal so fast -- 1 degree) and cuddled my baby more and ate delicious food that wasn’t hospital food!

Toni and Andrea were wonderful. They took excellent care of me and Margaret after the birth and cleaned everything up and put me and my baby to bed in fresh linens. They left about 2.30am and though I had complained all day about wanting a nap and being tired, I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I was too full of life and spent the night staring at the beautiful face of my newborn daughter.

Gwennie's Greta birth story

It was hard to see what was going on when Greta was being born. Mama was in the pool; I felt fine about Mama being in the birth pool. She liked it. But I wouldn't have wanted to get in with Mama, because there was so much blood in the pool. Mama was moaning, and when baby sister was coming out, she sounded really kind of desperate. I thought it was kind of funny because I didn't hear Mama making sounds like that ever before. They were kind of groaning sounds, because she said that it helped her feel good. I thought they were funnyish/strange. I was kind of scared and kind of excited.

Miss Toni and Miss Andrea were there. Miss Andrea was trying to rest in a chair, and Miss Toni was helping Mama. About eleven something I decided to rest, then I slept and was so comfortable, it's only happened about two times that I'm in this kind of doze when I'm kind of aware of myself, then I had to get waked up by Miss Andrea because baby sister was coming. I was so tired from staying up until eleven, I just wanted to sleep. I was trying to let Grannie and Grandad in when baby sister was being born, but Miss Andrea kept me in.

When Mama was having baby sister, she felt her head and then when baby sister came out, baby sister was yellow. It was weird. I was scared to hold her because she was all yellow; I wasn't sure I wanted to see it or feel it or anything. It was this stuff that Miss Toni rubbed on her forehead. The placenta was scarier. It looked like this big flat thing that was squishy and then a big line of it, and it was purpley with a little red in it. It was for giving baby sister her food.

I thought baby sister looked kind of scary with all the yellow all over her, but I was happy to have a sister. She was crying when she came out. I didn't think she would be crying the very moment she came out. It was so cool to see baby sister being born. I've never seen how it was, and I thought it would just be baby sister coming out with no yellow on her and no placenta coming out afterward and no crying, and I thought she would be on the bed with this kind of thing that was plastic and Mama would have a tank top on with no pants, and that's how Mama told me she would be, and there wouldn't be any blood. None of those things were true. I had no idea.

I'm so happy to have baby sister, she's so cute and has so much hair (I was bald when I was born). She has so long hair that you could probably put it in a little tiny pony tail!

baby tender

One of the surprises of our life with Margaret has been Linus's reaction to her. In the past, he has been fairly hesitant around babies; recently, when Jen was holding a friend's infant, he refused to come within arm's reach. But he is absolutely infatuated with Greta, and asks multiple times through the day to hold her, where he'll snuggle, look closely at her face, and whisper to her. It's extremely sweet.

Other commentary:

Linus, talking about a doctor's instrument his then-pregnant Mama was going to encounter at a checkup: "It's a tester-blooder. It's to find out the type and health of your blood."
D: "What kinds are there?"
L: "I don't know. A-plus?"

Linus, talking about our recent problems with sugar ants in the bathroom and kitchen: "Maybe if they make such a thing as a sugar-ant-go-away bomb, we can get it and bomb them."

babies of the family

Casper, crying, came to Mama for comfort. Seeing Margaret making her usual infant faces (see below), he said, "even baby sister's sad. See? She has a disappointed look on her face!"

Casper, responding to Mama counting to get him to respond: "If you count one more, I'm going to burst out crying and wake everyone up."

There's some uncertainty visible in this picture, wouldn't you say? Look at that hover hand!

C: Why is it comfortable?
M: Go brush your teeth in the other bathroom.
C: Oh, so "go brush your teeth" makes it comfortable.
(Quite a smart alec for a barely-four-year-old.)

art from life

Yesterday at the natural history museum, the children found some "drawing boards" (clipboards with copy paper) which had been placed at various stations to encourage the kids to examine the displays and draw their favorite details. Each of the kids drew something which they liked, and each did a pretty fantastic job. (They tend to draw from their imaginations, so I was impressed at the level of observation which these drawings include.)

Gwendolyn drew the stuffed lion:

Linus drew the stuffed bear (with his paws on a stuffed rainbow trout, resting on a tree branch):

And Casper drew this. When we asked him who it was, he explained that it was a "mechanical man." Of course!